Dr. Evil will make his debut for the San Diego Padres this year.
Kidding, but not really.
MLB free agent Manny Machado finally signed with a team one week after most clubs reported for Spring Training. The San Diego Padres signed the slugger for a cool THREE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS
This is the highest contract in sports history*
Speaking of the super rich, @KylieJenner I know you’re looking for a new live in bestie, I’m always up for a change of scenery and to be bankrolled.
Okay Meg, reel it in. You’re probably thinking why you should care about this….
I cannot believe to begin to describe the things I would do for 300 million dollars. Especially since my Mother reads this blog.
Manny Machado and I have some things in common. I’d do dirty things for 300 million, but he’s done dirtier
First there was this:
A move that he repeated in this year’s NLCS Game 2:
Then he proceeded to say he was no “Johnny Hustle” when asked why he didn’t run out fly balls or try to slide into first.
There’s another monster free agent still waiting to be signed, Bryce Harper. He has way better hair:
And seems to be much less of a prick. Here’s rooting that he signs for $300,000,001.00 to stick it to Manny.
*I don’t follow soccer so I’m not counting those stats.